40 & Fulfilled
Remember when turning 40 meant you were Over the Hill? You know, basically sliding your way down a slippery slope headed straight towards anything other than the best years of your life? Yeah, me too. Thank god times have changed and the my generation of women is holding up a hand saying “hell to the no” on that and using all of the knowledge, skills and experience they have gained to setting the stage for some pretty epic and fulfilled years beyond the age of 40.
Me? I feel like I am just getting started. I have never felt more ready, more focused and more capable of taking on what is not only in front of me, but what I plan to create along the way.
My advice to living an expansive life?
Establish the rules you are going to live by and be willing to edit them as need be.
Here are a few of my favourite things to live by at 40 or any age:
Feel free to borrow whatever ones speak to you
- Go after your dreams like your life depends on it, because it does.
- Stop waiting for a sign. It’s not going to come. And even if it does you’ll probably come up with a reason to talk yourself out of it. What does that movie say? “Get busy living, or get busy dying”. A bit dramatic but true nonetheless.
- Do not give one rats ass about what anyone thinks about you. Seriously. Don’t waste your energy.
- Find motivation in momentum. It’s a physics law – objects in motion stay in motion. Take one step, I promise you will it will lead to the next. It’s just physics.
- No one is going to care about your dream the way you do. No one, not even your partner, spouse or mom. Stop waiting for their excitement level about it to reach yours because it won’t.
- Let your kids be your reason, not your excuse. Whatever you want in this life, do it – it will be the greatest lesson you can ever teach them.
- Surround yourself with people who support you, encourage you and push you – not enable you. Big difference.
- Let failure be a goal. Failure leads to growth. But most of us are too scared to fail so we just don’t do anything. Dare to fail.
- Be inspired enough to take action.
- Less watching, more doing. Especially when it comes to Instagram Stories. Seriously.
- Say yes and then figure out how.
- Say NO to sh*t you don’t want to do. I don’t mean comfort zone stuff. I mean stuff that you dread doing and that sucks your feel good energy.
- Create space in your life EVERYWHERE you can. Your closet, your friends, your schedule. If you don’t have “space” available, nothing new can make its way in.
- Whatever it is that you are hoping for, wishing for or dreaming about – take one step today that will get you closer towards it. Even if it means telling someone (you’ll make it more real).
- Celebrate more. Stop waiting for the big moments or special occasions to celebrate friendship, family and moments. Guys – there is a LOT to friggin’ celebrate, so go celebrate
- Buy the “thing”. That thing that you talk yourself out of and tell yourself you don’t deserve it. You do. So stop waiting, go and buy it and love the heck out of it.
- Stop hanging around people who make you feel like sh*t. Like right now. No explanation or justification required.
- You don’t always have to be in a state of hustle, boss mode and epic. Sometimes you just need to dial it down and let all of your hard work marinate.
- Don’t play small to make other people feel comfortable. Be you without toning yourself down for whoever your audience and circle is.
- Believe in yourself beyond measure. It starts with you. If you don’t believe in whatever it is you want to come true, nobody else will.
- Eat the pizza, drink the wine and inhale the donuts. All of the donuts.
- Step out of your comfort zone regularly. If you aren’t doing things that make you nervous and sweaty than you aren’t growing.
- While on the topic of sweat – make sure you do once a day. Get that sh*t out of your body.
- Drink more water than anything else.
- Move your body. Not like just in a gym for 45 minutes. Figure out the thing that your body loves to do and then do it. Daily.
- Don’t talk about other people. And if you catch yourself wanting to, ask yourself what it is about them that bothers you. I promise you it has to do with you, NOT them. They are just showing up to highlight it to you.
- Take notice of how you talk to yourself. Your brain is a muscle that will get stronger with everything that it does. Make sure you are flexing it with positive thoughts.
- Stop waiting for a special occasion to break out the good china, fancy dress or your favourite pair of shoes.
- If you hate your job – quit. And then call me (ha!). There is way more on the other side of whatever it is you’ve convinced yourself that you need to stay trapped in.
- You don’t know what someone else is going through so stop being so judgy. Instead of judging them maybe ask if they are ok and if there is anything you can do to help even if that just means listening.
- Unfollow any accounts on social media that make you think you are anything less than amazing.
- Make an effort. When you show up, the universe will show up and meet you where you are.
- Listen to your gut. As women we rarely do. We let our fears talk us out of just about everything from a pair of jeans to taking a giant leap towards your dreams.
- Show gratitude and be THANKFUL for where you are at in life and everything you have.
- Don’t take yourself so seriously. Laugh at yourself and shake things off. Life is too complicated to not laugh your way through it.
- Do things with intention. Example:order food because you want to eat it, not take a picture of it. Get my drift.
- While you’re busy doubting yourself, some people are intimidated by your potential. So there’s that.
- Spend less time on your phone and more time with the people in front of you. Check in on your screen time and then compare it against the amount of real life conversation you’ve had today.
- Empower other women. Seriously. Stop hashtagging it and not doing it. You can’t support other women and talk about them behind their back at the same time. So woman up and start really empowering and supporting the women around you.
- You are more than the size of your clothes, the title on your business card and the amount of money that you make. So stop giving it so much power. You are enough. You are so much more than enough. Stop giving into the thoughts of what you aren’t or what you aren’t accomplishing and start celebrating all that you are and everything that you HAVE accomplished. Because it’s a lot. It’s a whole lot of a lot, a LOT.
Here’s to the next 40 and continuing to climb that hill. I’m nowhere close to the top and certainly not planning on going over it any time soon.