I say it all of the time. It’s even one of my favourite hashtags. I mean, all you have to do is watch the Kellogg’s commercial to know exactly what I am talking about. In their words “what if we told that little voice in our head to shut up” and change our perspective on how we look at ourselves….and more importantly – talk to ourselves. I can’t say that I am perfect with the internal negative self talk (you know, the one I like to call “the little bitch”). Every once and awhile she loves to rear her ugly head but as a result of working really hard at silencing her over the years by calling her bluff when she does get loud I know its something that I should probably listen to. Huh? I believe that the more you work at truly accepting yourself (not like the filtered “perfect” Instagram posts kind of acceptance) but the deep kind. The kind of acceptance that comes along with truly not really giving a crap what other people think of you. That is where the work lies, chipping away at figuring out where the heck those “insecurities” or whatever you want to call them came from in the form of that little bitch rearing her ugly head – got it?
So where was I (other than being completely off topic), the second layer to this (as I see it as a non-professional without any sort of scientific degree) is that once you do truly accept yourself, you need to own it. Like swagger, finger snapping, hair whip – kind of own it. Or in my case, resisting the urge to run out the door the minute someone hands me a complement (#truestory). So why am I talking about this? I had an Oprah a ha moment on Friday night while out for dinner with my hubs. If you have been following me at all (FYI I totally hate that word and I would encourage the social media gods to come up with a more inspiring one – just saying) some major decisions have been made lately that probably (ah hm – more like absolutely) moved the timeline up on my 5-year goal. So to clarify we were out “kind of celebrating” (another example of “not owning it”) both our Anniversary that we never got to “really” celebrate in December in addition to the fact that we survived the holidays. During our night out (by night out I mean dinner at a restaurant with a reservation time of 6 pm – no, I’m not joking. He tried to talk me into a pub after that I’m pretty sure he was convinced would be a night club by 9 pm. He asked me what it would take – I said a pair of designer shoes. We were home by 8 pm.) – so where was I – during our night out he started to talk about everything that I had done over this past year that I don’t give myself nearly (or any) enough credit for. I’ll do my best but it went something like this:
“You should be really proud of yourself for all that you have accomplished over this past year. It took at lot of bravery to step away from a comfortable world that you knew. You could have easily jumped back a career that was similar, for the competition, for whoever – but you didn’t. You chose to take a brave step towards doing something that you wanted to do, and that is not something a lot of people have the confidence – or are willing to do. You need to start giving yourself more credit”. Andy, Husband of the Year Nominee
So what did I do – I started saying things like “well you know” and “well kind of” and the list of non-confident, non-owning it statements pursued. He cut me off and said:
“No, you need to own it. You did it. All of it. You made the decisions. You took the Action. You made it happen. YOU did it.”. Andy, Husband of the Year 2017
I figured at this point I should just say “Thank You” or else the endless compliments in the form of a well-crafted Oscar-like speech would persist. It was in this moment that I realized how terrible I am at owning it – the “successful” stuff. I mean, I’m not perfect at admitting when I am wrong but I actually find it easier to accept fault than I am at accepting positive things being thrown my way. I’m adding this as work to be done this year. Thankfully it kind of falls under my “Year of Yes” vibe that I have going on – you know, like “um yes – I am awesome” – which means I don’t have to get out my white out and start a new journal 😉
What parts of you are you not giving yourself enough credit for? Have you ever written them down or spoken them out loud? (GASP – are you crazy woman). So the next time someone says something in Oscar-speech like form, or even tells you that your hair looks great today – can you just #ownit and say “Thank You” instead of giving credit to the Hairdresser that you saw 6-weeks ago!!! (also another #truestory). Perhaps if we started to own even the little things piece by piece we might just start to own the bigger ones…..like all that we are and all that we do (#justsaying).
#ownit. All of it – and then add a side-order of swagger, finger snapping and hair whip Beyonce.