It’s been awhile, that I know. I took a break. Well, at least a break from your perspective. Behind the scenes? behind the scenes I have been running on all cylinders, planting seeds and creating space. It had nothing to do with feeling tired or burnt out or lazy but instead this inner voice telling me to stop, slow down and take stock of everything that was around me (this same voice also told me to eat copious amounts of Maple Swirl donuts which seems to have passed….but I digress). So this reason for hitting the pause button? I thought it was an opportunity to practice what I preach.
So now that the pressure of New Years Resolutions has passed (phew – am I right?) I thought it would be a good time to circle back and speak to this ridiculous notion that everything about you needs to change. You know what I’m talking about. That dialogue that circles and jumps around in your head on repeat to then find yourself under pressure to actually do something about all of it some time between Christmas and New Years. So here it is a New Year, but its the same me – and I personally think you should follow suit.
Don’t get me wrong, we all have things that we want to work on, improve, and dare I say it – even evolve. But let it come from a place of growth, not because you need to change. Because in the context of New Years Resolutions, what this change often means and translates into is you not being enough of something. And that my dear friend is completely untrue. In fact, we convince ourselves that when we do make all of these changes about ourselves that we will be happier in some way, shape or form. But will you? I’m starting to think that this whole happy as a destination is a way to keep us from ever being content and fulfilled with what already is.
So why am I talking about all of this? Because I think as women we are constantly in a state of perpetual motion (which for the record by definition is not possible) but somehow we do. Through our thoughts, our actions, our patterns and the priorities we have convinced ourselves of – we stay moving at all times, headed towards something (probably towards that “happy destination” sign) without ever stopping to pause, stop or look around. But do you know what happens when you do? You get to catch your breath. You get to see the landscape that is around you (ah hm, friends, colleagues, family, experiences). And you get to assess how you feel about it all.
So what have I been doing for these past few weeks during what appears to be a hiatus? I’ve been assessing and deciding what I need to get rid of (physically and emotionally), what I need more of, what I want this year to look like and who I want to be in it. Good news, most people made the cut (ha ha ha). But seriously, every once and awhile pause and take stock. Clear sh*t out without overthinking it or attaching a made-up guilt inspired story around it. Instead of leading with all of the things you need to change about yourself, maybe – just maybe, you need to start changing things around you. Keep the joy, the inspiration, the happy, the things that challenge you in a good way and ditch all of the things that aren’t going to support the life you want to be living. Things like doubt, people, feelings, fake priorities (these are usually the things that keep you sooooooo busy so that you don’t have times for the things you want to do – gasp!) and anything that holds you down and leaves you feeling like you are never going to achieve said “dream life”. Because the reality is, these are the things that are holding you back from it. Period.
This pause I took? I have never had a more clear vision, the right people by my side (hmmm perhaps a hint of what is to come) and more exciting things fall into my lap (by fall into my lap I mean the universe responding to the work I have been doing behind the scenes). Instead of convincing yourself you need to change everything about yourself this year, focus on what feels right and follow it. Trust your gut – your intuition, that bit*h knows what’s up and she’ll never lead you astray.
Here’s to a New Year, same me, same you…..’cuz we’re already freaking fabulous