It is a feeling we are faced with as moms every day. You know the one, its called judgement. The judgement that we put on ourselves and in turn, the judgement that we put on other moms, thus creating a perfectly set stage for the Mom Wars to ensue. The thing is, none of us really know what we are doing at this whole mom thing, probably feel like we are failing at it every day and have had at least one moment when you questioned if you were even cut out for this whole mom gig.
Somehow after years of being sleep deprived, spit up on and losing our sense of self, we also lost our ability to support and celebrate other moms by allowing our own self-judgement to get in the way. Let’s be honest, from that moment the pee hits the stick and the positive sign appears, the judgement begins – doesn’t it? The moment you announce to the world that you are pregnant opens the floodgates for all things judgement. How you look, how big (or little) your bump is, if you are going to find out what it is, if you are going to deliver naturally and the list goes on and on. The one time in your life that is supposed to be beautiful and natural is suddenly filled with all things judgement – and I’m sorry to break it to you mom-to-be, it doesn’t end there.
Skip ahead a few years after you have endured the chapters that include (but are certainly not limited to):
- How fast did you lose the baby weight?
- Did you “Ferberize” your baby or not?
- Co-sleeping? (gasp – guilty as charged!)
- How long did you breastfeed for?
- Whether to go back to REAL work or stay-at-home (insert sarcasm)?
I am not sure when the whole Mom Wars thing started, but I think its time we call a truce. Because if the goal of the game is to win, then we all need to start realizing that when one mom wins, we all win. Whether you agree with someone’s parenting approach or strategies isn’t really the point – its about realizing that the one thing that unites us as moms is actually the very thing that is pulling us apart. At the end of the day – whether you found out the sex of your baby before they were born, breastfed vs. formula fed or let your baby cry it out (gasp!), we all have the same Mom Agenda – loving our kids, wanting the best for them and protecting them as best we know how. That no matter what kind of day we had, we all come home to the same feeling at the end of it – love in a way we have never experienced before becoming a mom, and that my mom friends is called winning.
The hit new CBC TV series Workin’ Moms captures all of these feelings in true form by bringing a lightness to the challenging reality that we face as moms. The constant emotional teeter totter that we find ourselves on every single day, never really ever feeling entirely confident in anything that we are doing. I don’t think I have ever watched a more powerful and real moment in motherhood than I did while watching the pilot episode for Workin’ Moms. Amidst the humour and tough topics that include the “less than ideal” post-breast feeding boobs to postpartum depression – you get to see, experience and feel the exact moment that the lead character Kate, played by the shows creator Catherine Reitman, finds her strength, confidence and fight when she literally comes face-to-face with a Kodiak Bear. It is this moment that you realize that hidden underneath a layer of self-doubt with a side over of judgement we all posses the strength within us that is equal to a bear – and that is a feeling that resonates with us, bonds us and unites us as moms.
I do not claim to be a mom expert but what I do know is this:
- Motherhood bonds us, not divides us. It is the one common thing that we have in which we are not perfect, nor ever will be (the good news is, the pressure is off);
- Be compassionate, empathetic and supportive to yourself and other moms;
- You are a great mom and you are doing a great job. Remind yourself of that every.Single.Day.
Get caught up on all of the latest episodes of Workin’ Moms on CBC.ca and tune in on Tuesdays @ 9:30 ET.